Yesterday, Piano Man, and more

Last night Buddy and I sat up until almost 11:00 and watched music videos together. It was a wonderful experience. My boy loves youtube. He remembered hearing Piano Man some time ago, and did his own research and found a video playing Piano Man. Steve and I did not help him with the title, song, etc. He figured it out. While doing the dishes, I heard the song playing and decided to pull up a chair and listen/watch with him. He asked for some other Billy Joel songs and Beatles songs (I don't know how he knew so much about the Beatles). We listened to Yesterday and She's Always A Woman To Me. ( I changed it to She's Always a Mommy to Me!) He enjoys all kinds of music. He listened to Piano Man and said, "That was sad". He then proceeded to listen to it over and over again. I think he finds music to be very special- it speaks of life. I am blessed by this child who has such profound, adult thoughts and feelings. He can relate to the immature friend and to any adult with sincerity and kindness. He sees the world with all its complexity and confusion. He carries a bigger burden knowing and understanding so much. I can see it in him.

Martha is blessed with ingenuity and simplicity- an intersting combination. She can find new ways to do things (like her math), and take something complex and make it simple. She doesn't get caught up in the complexity of life, like Buddy. She doesn't get lost in girlish behavior- jealousy, mind games, competition, manipulation, or favoritism. She is conscious of fads and fashion, but isn't controlled by them. She is sensitive to the needs of others. She loves the mall, loves laughing, loves talking, and loves silliness, like most tweens/teens, but she doesn't feel it is necessary to follow the crowd. She is not a sheep. She is strikingly independant and self-confident, also unlike Buddy. She is different than most girls.

Who can ever imagine having children like that? I move through motherhood with seriousness and a little trepidation...knowing that raising these two children will require much more than simple formulas, yes and no answers, and rules. It will require much love, of course, but also a lot of time. They long for my time and also long for me to share all that I know with them. There are times when I sit and simply talk about many topics, and they listen and ask endless questions. They prefer me to their textbooks. I am privileged to be able to share life with them. I know this time requirement may change, but I plan on being available for as long as I live.

The spinning of schedules and activities is just not important to me. So much is so worthless, when looked at closely. Details are also endless...what is accomplished by talking about baking cookies or putting up new curtains?

Today, my mind wanders to philosophical matters, and the gray cells of seriousness are alive.

It is cloudy and gray, which causes me to look inward. Tomorrow the mist will roll away and I will go back to talking about all the unessentials that fill up each day....today, I want more than that.