Searching for Sun

Both the dog and I were searching for sun today. My friend was very selective. He travelled from room to room wondering which one had the biggest and warmest sunny spot on which to snooze. My hunt for sun is an effort to keep my outdoor plants alive. I move my plants to the sunny areas so they can soak as much in as possible. Come January they all look a little tired and a little dull. I have been able to keep geraniums alive with this tactic.

I always thought that squirrels hibernated for parts of the winter- is that true? If they do, then our squirrels are really stupid. When I woke up today it was -20 degrees. The Squirrels could be sleeping during this extreme cold, but they aren't. They are all fighting to get some seed from our feeders. There are at least 4 of them.

This cold also reminds me why we have scrimped and saved in the past to go on cruises in the Carribean in January and February. This year we are home and enduring whatever winter weather comes our way. Last year, we avoided some cold and spent time in Belize and Cozumel. I highly recommend trying this out. If you are really tempted, you should look at the amazing prices on www.vacationstogo.com. You will be surprised how inexpensive a cruise can really be.

There is a lot of value to getting away. Most of my "getting away" times are spent in a bubble bath with a good book ("Calgon, take me away"!), but leaving the country is also therapeutic!!! :o)

I have watched a few of Rick Steves' European travel shows and wonder if I could have as good a time. He makes it all look so easy. I think they edit out the clips where he gets lost or gets mugged. Wouldn't that make for an exciting travel show? Does he get a few extra euro's for making Europe seem so full of "wonderment"?

Time to go find another sunny spot. Stay warm.

40 below keeps the riff raff out..

We are in the deep freeze. Yesterday was an amazingly different day. I took the kids to the library. The sun was out, it was in the 30's. As soon as I got out of the car I was hit up by a homeless person for some money. He said he needed it for brain surgery. I believe him- but was pretty sure my money would have gone to another bottle of beer rather than surgery.

The homeless group wandering the streets was large. There were about 15 right in front of the library and many others wandering around other places. I can guarantee all those people are not sitting around, relaxed, outside today.

Buddy is so sensitive that he told me he wished he could invite all the outside animals inside our house today. We are making sure the bird feeders are full and that a few apples make their way out for the deer tonight. ( some old, rotten ones from the bottom of my refrigerator)

I have put down counselors in the past, but I am currently seeing one. It has been a great experience. I am not the same person that started "therapy" a few weeks ago. I was unaware of many things, felt incredibly fragile, and helpless. I have learned that it is possible to gain control over emotions gone wild. It is possible to allow time to work without having to rush in and try to "solve" everything. I have learned how to better learn from the past. Would I have eventually reached these conclusions on my own? Maybe. There are times when it is helpful to have a neutral party provide some input. Anyway..that has been a big step, and well worth it.

For kicks my husband and I are listening to Salem's Lot by Stephen King in the evenings. Pretty crazy, huh? I am determined to read books of all kinds and that includes books by Stephen King. They are dark, but sometimes those books are the best. I spent a lot of time reading books about the Amish and feel I've made a pretty radical step away from that!! Anyone familiar with that book? We were able to download it from our library.

I wonder what I should try next? I also just finished a book by Ken Follett called "The Pillars of the Earth". That was an awesome book!! Mr. Follett grew up in a Plymouth Brethren "church" and so did I. This book confirms it, almost. The Brethren worship in simplicity- few decorations, no elaborate building, and definitely no " pomp and circumstance" as some churches go. This book is about a man who wants to build a cathedral- and much more. The story grabbed me and pulled me in. It is an adult book, though, so if you can't read about violence or sex (from the Middle Ages) then forget this book.

It is 1:44 and I have not had lunch. I always feel like I am saving calories if I can semi combine breakfast and lunch or lunch and dinner. This isn't good for my blood sugar levels which hit lows when I do this, but I love having loose fitting jeans!!! Don't worry, mom, I am not starving myself..just a little calorie restriction every once in a while.

Time to eat something. Good day! Stay warm!

Abandoned

I was just e-mailed the question "Have you abandoned this blog?". I supposed I took a mental break. This blog is meant to be more personal, and sometimes it is hard to be so intimate.

I have been going through a lot of challenges. Hodge Podge (crazy third person..I know) and spouse have been going through a lot. I have been in a personal state of shock. It happens in mid-life, around 15 years of marriage, etc. You figure out if you are really committed and willing to work through the hard times. We are.

I have realized that I am tough but not so tough that I can't become completely overwhelmed. I am learning how to take better care of myself and how to be my own person.

For some people this is easy. I got lost in my husband, somewhere. My world was his world..and I let go of my world. I am in the process of finding myself again. I know that is a cliche, but it just works in this case. It is scary, it is worrisome, but in the long run I hope it is freeing.

I will return to this blog and to sharing again. Thank you for reading. I hope you can relate. If you can-share yourself with me. I'd love it.